"Falling into Zina"

Sisters need to lower their demands and the expectations of a spouse to ensure that Muslim men will not fall into zina. This is a sentiment that gets expressed so frequently that no one ever seems to stop to think about how absurd it is. Fall into zina? What? Are you in a boy band?

As if you're just, what, hanging on for dear life over a mob of lusting women who wanna have sex with you? This is the ultimate in gaslighting. As if men are just perpetually fighting off the ladies and Muslim women have to come to their rescue to save them from falling into the inevitability of committing zina with the hordes of women that are clawing at them day and night. As if there isn't a whole industry out there teaching men how to talk to, how to seduce, how to persuade women to sleep with them. As if being able to find, meet, and convince a woman to have sex with you doesn't take considerable time, effort, and expense.

You don't fall into zina. You have to work for it. If a Muslim man commits zina, it can only happen very, very deliberately, and he will be making a series of choices and decisions over a period of time precisely to ensure that that happens, and no one is responsible for that but him. Nobody falls into Xena. So just stop with this ridiculous justification.

All the time, effort, and expense that you have to spend trying to get a girlfriend. I mean, do you think having a girlfriend is cheap? Just redirect all of that effort to saving the funds to pay for a marriage and get married. Be serious. And stop putting the responsibility on sisters for keeping you from committing a major sin that makes you eligible for Rajam.

Like, why do you think the punishment is so severe if it's the kind of a sin that you can just fall into? No. It's because it requires major corruption on your part and indecency. When you act like Zina is just some sort of inevitability, you make light of how bad it is and how bad you have to be to do it. What an unmanly argument.

Lower your so that I don't commit a massive abomination that earns the punishment of stoning to death. Who on earth would want to marry that kind of man anyway? You're saying that the wrath of Allah isn't enough of a disincentive, and then you're gonna try to make a religious argument about lowering the is pathetic. Look, non Muslim single men spend an average of $200 a month on dating. So if you date between the ages of 18 and 25, you will have spent the better part of $20,000 on girlfriends.

If you just save $10 a day from the time you're 18, by the time you're 25, you will have over 25,000. So men, take it seriously. Develop some financial discipline which will help you for the rest of your life as a husband, as a father, and don't get into the habit of making excuses or shifting responsibility. That's not gonna serve you well as a grown up. And trying to make women responsible for your morality and your adherence to the deen is not the best way to promote yourself as a potential qawam.