No, Brothers, you are not infallible imams at home

Assalamu alaikum. The man is the imam of the house. He's the imam of his family. Yes. You're right.

Absolutely. But some of your brothers are applying the Sunni understanding of the word imam to the outside world, but like you become Shia at home where you think that the imam is infallible. So that anytime there's any objection or disagreement on the part of the wife, you treat that as if it is just automatically by default her petulance and abstinence and defiance and it's just irrational and unreasonable and she should just submit. That's not the thinking of khawan. If you think that anytime your wife disagrees with you or challenges what you say, then she's just being rebellious.

That's the thinking of a tyrant. That's like a a dictator who thinks that he's not supposed to ever be opposed in anything that he says. That's veronic, honey. It could be that you're wrong. It could be that you're mistaken.

And maybe your wife is genuinely in disagreement with you and thinks that you're mistaken about something and would rather you not be mistaken. Okay? So if you're mistaken, it's better for you to be corrected even if it's by your wife that makes you someone who's interested in being right. And if you are correct and she's mistaken because you are the imam of the family, you have the final say. And over the course of time, it will be shown to her that you made the right decision.

That's how you gain the trust of leadership in your family and with your wife, by actually demonstrating wisdom, foresight, and the ability to make right decisions. Okay? Everything that the husband says isn't coming from. You could be right, you could be wrong. And yes, at the end of the day, have the final word, you have the final decision.

But that doesn't mean that there isn't consultation, that doesn't mean that she's not allowed to speak. If you listen to what she says and it makes sense and you revise your position, she's not gonna lose respect for you. She will understand that you are a man who is sincerely interested in being correct and making proper judgments. It's not gonna turn you into a quote unquote beta. That's really, really immature thinking.