It's not the Bad Boys women like, it's the drama

A viewer asked me to comment on the apparent phenomenon of women being irresistibly attracted to men who mistreat them. To be honest, if you're a good man in or interested in marriage to a good woman, I don't really see why this would be an important topic to occupy your mind. But I'll give it a shot. People have used this phenomenon to generalize about female preferences, to guide male behavior towards women according to the principle treat her mean, keep her keen. In other words, people have suggested that this phenomenon provides some sort of an insight into women's psyche in general that can be used by all men to help improve their relations with women.

But the main insight that they draw from it is actually something that you could draw from any analysis of women, which is that they have a passive submissive nature and appreciate dominant men who are not hesitant to assert their authority. You don't need to look at abusive relationships to intuit that. And anyway, this is the wrong lesson to draw from these types of relationships. First of all, because the men in those relationships are not strong and dominant. Strength and dominance are not proved against a weaker counterpart.

Those men actually share the same feminine characteristic as the women they mistreat. The characteristic in women that draws them to abusive or toxic relationships is not the appreciation of dominant men. That draws women to good relationships. Rather, it is the addiction to artificial drama. It's a form of escapism whereby they don't have to occupy themselves with normal activities, normal productive healthy activities like self reflection, refinement of their character, and practice of their deen because they can just stay in a perpetual state of relationship turmoil instead.

It's how they can make their lives interesting because they themselves are not interesting. It allows them to fabricate a self image as a hero or as a martyr or as brave or what have you all within the microcosm of their stupid relationship. It's a sort of perversion of women's domesticated nature. They were created to live in a relatively small world. So they manufacture epic situations that they can play out in their little world.

You mentioned a woman who was in a marriage with a man who mistreated her. She got a divorce, and then she married a good man, but then later went back to the first man who mistreated her. The thing to ponder in that situation isn't why she did what she did, but why the good man agreed to marry her at all. That marriage must have been a continuous trial for him. Now the addiction to artificial trauma exists in weak men as well, and you see it a lot in the red pill community.

So much so that I've started to think the red pill is some sort of estrogen supplement. They are unequipped or unwilling to engage on a mature level with real issues. So instead they invent this melodramatic narrative that men are being subjugated by ruthless, hypergamous, predatory, domineering women who are cuckolding men left and right. It's a fantasy world, but they seem to enjoy the hysteria. Nothing makes them more angry than when you tell them everything is fine.

It's very, very womanly. Look. If a good woman is with a bad man or a good man is with a bad woman, they're playing the leads in a film in each other's heads. And frankly, it's better for them to be together than to spoil two houses with them. They've opted out of engagement with the world in favor of pursuing domestic drama.

So I say leave them to it. It's really not worth anyone's time to wonder why.