Feminism has bled into the Ummah. Or not.

In the comment section on my channel, I am often scolded for not scolding women and for not emphasizing women's accountability and their responsibility for the grievances that men have towards women which may be inclining those men towards red pill ideology. Basically, I am criticized for not acknowledging or recognizing the massive impact and influence of feminism among Muslim women today. But what usually happens when I try to engage with people who make such comments is that I find that feminism is something very vague for the men who complain about it. They talk about women are influenced by feminism, how feminism has bled into the ummah, the rise of feminism, so on and so on, but with very few, if any, specific cases or instances or actions or behaviors that distinctly instantiate feminist ideology. And usually, when there are any specific instances articulated, they generally pertain to Muslim women affirming and asserting rights that were legitimately granted to them in Islam, not ideas or concepts that are alien to Islam or that even originate from feminist thought.

So I decided to run a little poll on my community page a few weeks ago asking what people thought, represented the most prevalent manifestations of feminism among Muslim women today. It is undeniable that many Muslims today do feel and do have the impression that feminism has spread among the ummah and that Muslim women are unduly influenced by feminist ideology. So I wanted to know what is causing this impression. What is making Muslims feel that this is actually a threatening phenomenon occurring within the ummah? And then try to analyze whether or not that impression is accurate.

The results of the poll weren't really surprising, and they kind of reflect the same sort of abstract sentiments that I find in the comment section. The good news is that most of the respondents to the poll did not consider women working or women's education to be prevalent manifestations of feminism. This is good news, of course, because in Islam, women are allowed to pursue those things. Instead, what the majority of respondents, expressed was that a general negative attitude towards men and a rejection of a husband's authority represent the most prevalent manifestations of feminism among Muslim women. So, obviously, these are both relatively abstracts complaints.

A negative attitude towards men is something that's highly subjective. But what is clear is that this is a feeling that many Muslim men have. They feel that Muslim women do not respect them, do not appreciate them, do not value them, and are perhaps even hostile towards them. Now this is something that needs further inquiry. We need to know why Muslim men are feeling this way.

Is it based on actual disrespect that they have themselves personally encountered from Muslim women, or is it an impression that has been formed through the consumption of media? And further, if we're talking about something that they have personally experienced in their own lives in one on one interaction with women, were these actually incidents of objectively identifiable disrespect, or is this a subjective reaction to a woman's behavior? In other words, is this a matter of perception on the part of the man, or is it something that would be objectively identified by anyone as disrespectful, hurtful, offensive? For example, is it rude or disrespectful for a woman to simply talk back to a man, to disagree with a man, to turn a man down for marriage? What exactly is the standard here being applied with regards to the behavior expected of a woman towards a non mahram man in society so that we can identify when or how those standards are not being met?

Or are we talking about an impression that has been formed by watching and consuming media in which Muslim sisters are expressing publicly negative attitudes about men. I'm inclined to think that this is the basis in most cases. Male bashing is quite a popular pastime on social media. And if a man consumes a lot of this type of media, it would be understandable for him to have an impression that women just hate men. But, of course, this is an extremely unbalanced and warped view that does not accurately represent or reflect reality.

This is very important to analyze because it seems to me very likely that the current trend of adversarial feelings between the sexes and the idea that Muslim women have been brainwashed on mass with feminist ideology is largely a fabricated idea and that much of what men are disgruntled about with regards to women's behavior and attitudes stems from women just being women, not women being feminists. Men say stupid things and behave arrogantly and so do women. Women, in fact, are more prone to acting upon their emotions than men and are thus more likely to react to and to verbalize and vent their negative emotions. But this has always been the case and it can't be attributed to feminism. Despite the oft repeated claim that feminism is the gateway to Kufr, most Muslim women who identify as feminists do so precisely to counter the narrative of the Kufar that Muslim women are oppressed.

They intend to defend Islam as it is against the notion that Islam as it is subjugates women. They don't seek to change or reform the Sharia. Rather, they boast about the rights that women have been granted in Islam. They are proud of Islam. And by and large, they don't expect or demand more rights than what Allah has granted them.

They do not misrepresent the deen. They do not denigrate the deen. The most that can be said is that they overemphasize the rights and respect accorded to women in Islam while not talking about the clearly patriarchal elements of the sharia. This is not necessarily because they reject those elements, but it should be understood that they are primarily interested in trying to correct the false impression that Islam is anti woman. Now there are a handful of radical feminists like Amina Wadud, but these are almost universally dismissed as heretics.

No one takes them seriously. Now one of the things that Muslim men dislike is what they call the egalitarian philosophy behind feminism, I. E. That men and women are equal. But if you actually listen to self identifying Muslim feminists, this equality is usually explained in terms of spiritual value and with an acknowledgement of the differing roles that men and women hold in society and in a family.

It's a very traditional explanation. There is nothing dangerous here. Omar ibn al Khattab radiyaAllahu anhu complained about the women of Medina being more aggressive and assertive and dominating than the women of Makkah. But when he raised this complaint to Rasulullah the prophet simply responded by smiling. He did not concur and reprimand the women of Medinah nor was an ayah revealed warning them that they should try to conform their behavior more to be like the women of Makkah.

Quite simply because women are women. Some behave the way you like and some the way you dislike, and mostly they do both. Now we always like to talk about disciplining wives. But I have yet to find a single example in which prophet Muhammad ever did that with his wives except with regards to the deen itself or some principle of qisas that had to be established. For example, when Aisha broke a dish that had been delivered to Rasulullah from one of his other wives when it was Aisha's night.

And all the prophet did was to order her to replace the dish. What you disproportionately find is Rasulullah demonstrating patience, tolerance, and gentleness with his wives, even when they argued, talked back, or were upset with him. And what you learn from that is that they did argue, they did talk back, and they would get upset with him. And they were not feminists. And the prophet dealt with them as he did it.

If having a bad attitude sometimes, if being spoiled, if complaining, arguing, if being conceited, if blaming and being emotional are all to be equated with feminism, then every woman ever has been a feminist. It seems to me, quite frankly, that a lot of men have just become hypersensitive and want to join the Grievance Olympics. They want to label everything that women do that they dislike as feminist or feminist influenced, and that is either naive or deliberately gaslighting. Women are human beings. They have personalities.

They are influenced by their cultures, their upbringings. They have moods and tempers and feelings, just like men do. If you find something in them that you dislike, you will find many other things in them that you do like. Islam does not require women to become subservient robots who treat their husbands like the of the household. Now as for the idea that women reject a husband's authority, know that most of the people who follow my page, most of the young men who follow my account are not married.

So this hypothetical rejection of husband's authority is something that they are anticipating, not necessarily something that they are experiencing or have experienced. And I suspect that this expectation of theirs is based on or derived from their perception that women are, influenced by feminism, that they have a disdain and a dislike for patriarchy, and that they have a generally negative attitude towards men. Again, this requires a more detailed analysis of just what level of authority they think they are entitled to and thus what they think constitutes rejection of that authority. Because there seem to be a lot of young brothers who imagine that a husband is due total obedience and submissiveness from his wife except insofar as he can't order her to do something that is blatantly haram. So, yeah, if that is your expectation, you will almost certainly be disappointed.

And no doubt you will conclude that anyone who doesn't embrace total submission to you must be a feminist. But that is a ridiculous expectation that no man has ever had in this ummah. You are the ultimate decision maker for your family. You are the head of the household. You control the budget and the spending, and you have the final say.

You can't expect, for instance, that if you tell your wife arbitrarily and for no particular reason jump up and down, that she's supposed to do it. Or if you tell her to go stand in the corner, she should comply because, well, it's not haram. You're not entitled to be a tyrant. And you can't expect more than what is customary in terms of her domestic service. She can and will and has the right to express herself, to voice her opinion, disagree with you just as the wives of the prophet did and as Muslim women always have done.

Your wife is not in the dunya, and you shouldn't expect her to be one. And if she falls short of being a human version of a that does not constitute disrespect or rejection of your authority, and it doesn't constitute being a feminist. Just means that she's a woman.