Qawwamun: First Principles

We don't have a problem with this being the case. We take pride in this. As men, we take pride in this. We take pride in our ability to take care of. We take pride in our ability to be responsible for, to be the one who solves problems, who bears the burdens.

We take pride in that. Whereas the the red pill movement They're complains about it. Yeah. Complains about it and acts like it's unfair and so forth. You actually have a problem with being a man.

You actually have a problem with the burden of masculinity because it's a burden to you, not something that you're proud of. Rather than being proud of the fact that you're the one who can bear the burden. Yep. This that you're you're actually trying to inculcate in men weakness Mhmm. And feminine qualities, and no offense to women, but the feminine qualities of not you know, wanting to share the responsibilities and so forth, rather than taking pride in the in the fact that you're able to take responsibility and to take care of people.

Mhmm. And the the people over whom you are. You have authority and responsibility. This is this is also, you know, the the the the whole red pill movement and the, you know, men's rights Yeah. Advocacy and and whatnot is like in the infantilization Yeah.

The infantilization of men. Why are you supposed to care about the material things and the and you know what I mean? Like, it like, they they're always these are the types. Right? With the with their sunglasses and their and their expensive clothes and their fancy cars and their yachts and their mansions, and how to become a millionaire, and a high value man, and all of Yes. This

and and all of this very very western superficial, you know Markers. Hoarding mentality. This is all weakness. This is very weak. This is this is not masculinity.

This is not historical or traditional masculinity. It certainly isn't masculinity in Islam. Yeah. As I say, you take pride in the one who provides. Yeah.

That's not what I'm I'm not here for the stuff. Yeah. I get the stuff so that I can give it to you. Exactly. And and and I get the honor and the pleasure out of being able to be the one to do that.

Mhmm. And now you're complaining about not being able to have the stuff for yourself. Well, is this is I'm sorry. This is a womanly quality. This is a womanly quality.

It's very petty. Now, you want the satin pillows? You know? What is this? If you're doing your job properly as a man, you will know that because you are being taken for granted.

That's the sign that you're doing your job properly as a man. Okay. See, you know, this again, because of the first of all, the the basis of this problem in the West is among red pilled people and people who pretend to to be pro, I don't know, masculinity, pro men or what have you. The the the basis of the confusion here is the materialism and the the seeking after attention, seeking after praise, seeking after validation, and wanting to get things. And all of these are inferior traits.

These are all in these are all deficiencies. Everything that that you that the West teaches you, you should want and teaches you how to be, all of those are deficiencies. Seeking attention, seeking validation, wanting to be appreciated, wanting to be thanked, wanting to be complimented, wanting to get material things, and so on. These are all deficiencies of character. Not these are not things that you should want as a man.

These are not things that you should pine for. Now, we we we the only thing that we really do want from those that we love and those that we take care of is appreciation. We wanna be appreciated, and we wanna be respected. We know we're not gonna be understood. We know that we're not going to have that we know that our struggles, we know that everything that we grapple with and everything that we do is not going to be comprehended by those who do we who we take care of, which is why we're the ones taking care of them.

You understand? Because we're the ones who have the qualification to do that. You're proud of your strength when it's just muscles. You're proud of the burdens that you can carry Mhmm. When it's just physical.

Mhmm. But the psychological burdens that you carry, the responsibilities that you carry, You're supposed to be proud of that. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So you should have the same approach.

Bar. Bar. Like, you you want to be the one who can carry the heaviest weight. Mhmm. When you're at the gym, want to be the one who can bench press the the the heaviest weights.

Yeah. The biggest bench press Mhmm. Or dead lift or what have you. You want to be the one to do that. But when it comes to responsibilities, you don't wanna be the one to do that.

Why? When when the the one is not actually an indication of your masculinity, but the other is. If you can bear all of the all of the responsibilities, you can bear the psychological struggles that men have to go through in order to take care of their families. You can bear that without any of the anxiety or the stress or the turmoil that goes on in your struggle touching your family. Yeah.

That's something that a man is proud of. You wanna you wanna keep your you wanna keep all of everything that you're going through completely apart from your family, from your wife, from your children, and so on. No one's supposed to know what you go through. And if you want people to know what you go through, then I'm sorry, that's not manly, that's not masculine at all. No one's supposed to even know what you go through.

That's why I said, if you're doing a job as a man, you'll be taken for granted. Men want to solve problems, and men want their wives to be happy. So when a woman comes with her turmoil and her turbulence, well, we wanna solve it. And you shouldn't you shouldn't bother because it's gonna be fine. She's gonna be fine.

You know, like, if if you ask if you if you ask a woman, you know, coffee, tea, or milk or what have you, you know, like they ask on a plane, she'll ask for tea, but she'll ask if she can have a storm in it. Because they like to have a storm in a teacup, and that's and that's mostly what women deal with. They like I don't know if they like it, but they're they're prone to a completely unnecessary drama that usually does not need a reaction. So again, what do you bring to the table? What's the problem with this question?

Well, I mean, video itself answers that question. Yeah. I would say it was a very popular video, by the way, especially on TikTok. It went around a lot. And I I think it went it went around a lot by a lot of women shared that video Mhmm.

Who would never be invited to the table in the first place. Because my my point in that video was it's my table. I'm the host. I don't need you to bring anything. If I have invited you to my banquet, to my feast, you don't need to bring anything.

It's not a potluck. Mhmm. I'm the one who provides, because that's what a man is supposed to do. We're the ones who who provide. So I'm not asking you what you bring to the table.

I have already just like when you do invite someone to your dinner to a dinner, when you invite someone to a banquet, it's not an open invitation. Mhmm. You have guests that you select, that you want to bring to your table based upon the fact that you think that they're gonna be good guests. Mhmm. That you already appreciate them.

You've already vetted them, Jani. Okay. So there was a lot of people who shared that video and who commented on that video and who liked that video, who would never have been invited to the table in the first place. You already don't qualify. Yeah.

And then there were people who complained saying, oh, he said guests. Yeah. First of all, they were angry because I used plural. I'm a Muslim. Mhmm.

I can have more than one guest at my table. As a husband, Yani, I can have more than one wife. I can have four. So I said guests. I used plural.

Mhmm. That is not gonna apply to you people who haven't come to your senses yet and come to Islam. But then the other thing was always a guest. He didn't say like we're not partners. It's like I'm a guest and it's his table, his rules.

Yes. Correct. Yes. That's correct. Because you're not my sister.

We're not related by blood. You are in a relationship with me as long as we both consent to that. As long as we both agree on that. This is in Islam, this is a contractual agreement between the two of us, and that contract can be nulled. We can agree two part ways.

The table in this scenario or in that analogy, the table is my life. It's everything that I've built. It's everything that I am. It's everything that I have. So yes, you're a guest in my life because you're not my you're not my kin, you're not we're not related by blood.

Yeah. You're here because I invited you here and you accepted that invitation. Mhmm. And as long as you behave well and as long as I behave well, we'll stay together. Mhmm.

You understand? So of course, guest. If you don't understand that something anyone else in your life who isn't a family member. If you don't understand anyone in your life who isn't a family member is a guest in your life. Mhmm.

Period. They're a guest in your life. Yeah. I found it very ironic that this is being pushed by people who are supposed to be pro man and pro act pro pro pro what men's rights Mhmm. Pro fathers and all of this.

Mhmm. And everything that you're pushing is based on a denial of Adam Alaihi Salam. On Nabi Adam, our father. Mhmm. The father of mankind, the father of humanity.

I I found that very it's it's it's ironic. It's contradictory. Mhmm. That you are supposedly, you know, trying to uplift men, husbands, fathers, and the the core of everything that you believe in is that we're animals. Right.

Which means that you're denying our actual origin, which means that you're denying our actual father, the father of the human race. It doesn't matter to me if there are people who still choose to reject that. If they're atheists or agnostics or people who otherwise are ashamed of their religious belief Right. And feel that I need to find some kind of a way to make it reconcile with science. Right.

So I'll come up with all kind of mental gymnastics. What happened is exactly what Allah said happened. Adam was created exactly the way that Allah said he was created. The human race is a special unique creation on this earth. We're not animals.

We can't learn anything from animals. Mhmm. That's not well, the only thing that we can learn from animals is the is the magnitude of Allah's ability to create and say subhanAllah when we look at everything that Allah create. But but we we we don't guide our behavior by studying beasts. And this even this the what alpha male idea Mhmm.

Was derived from the study of wolves. What are you gonna learn about yourself Okay. From studying a wild dog? This is it's it's ludicrous. Mhmm.

But you accept it as because it's supposedly based on some kind of science. Mhmm. Evolutionary science, and then then they came up with a quasi scientific evolutionary psychology Mhmm. Which is all mumbo jumbo, which is all ridiculous. And anyone who's involved in psychology, which is already debatable to what extent you can even call psychology itself a science.

Yeah. But even people who are in psychology scoff at evolutionary psychology. Mhmm. You know? So, yes.

It it it's you you have to if you don't accept if you don't understand the reality that human beings are a unique special creation on this earth with a unique purpose, with unique faculties. If you don't understand that, then you certainly can't teach anyone how to be a man.