Are Men and Women Equal?

This is such a woman question. Like when she asks you, do you miss me? Or isn't it more comfortable with the air conditioning turned off? It's not a question that's being asked in order to get an honest answer. It's a question being asked to test whether or not you will acquiesce in giving her the answer that she wants to hear.

But let's be honest, if the answer to the question was an obvious yes, then the question wouldn't have to be asked in the first place. For most men, especially Muslim men, we tend to finesse our way around the answer, like a basketball coach trying to not crush the hopes of a five foot tall basketball player. You know? Dribbling is important. It's a valuable part of the game.

It's not all about scoring. Having a low center of gravity is good for dribbling. But, of course, what he's saying is you're not going to be the star player. You're not an all around athlete, and we don't win because of you. So we equivocate about equality.

You know, it depends what you mean by equal. We're all different. We have different capabilities, different roles, different skills, you know, etcetera etcetera. We're all equal in the eyes of God. But it's all just a way of avoiding the question.

Look, feminists do not believe that women and men are equal. They believe that women should be protected. They should be supported. They should be helped. They should never be subjected to intimidation or harassment or unwanted advances, inappropriate comments or physical contact.

That's what feminists believe. Okay. If you replace the word women in all of those propositions with the word men, it would be laughable. Laughable. Every single one of these beliefs is a declaration of inadequacy, of an inability to cope or function in the world independently the way men do.

Having a subordinate status as a result of nature is not oppression. The five foot tall basketball player is not oppressed by the rules of basketball. Children are not oppressed because they are dependent upon their parents. And women are not oppressed because they are on average weaker, more given to neuroses, more emotional, less mechanically inclined, smaller, less assertive, less decisive, less driven, more self indulgent, more fragile, and the fact that they're the ones who give birth and breastfeed. It just is what it is.

I agree with all of those feminist beliefs. Women should be protected. They should be helped. They should be supported. They should be made safe in all situations and environments.

I believe that and the overwhelming majority of men believe that. That's why women are able to live and thrive and move about the world safely because men see to it. We are totally on board with a lot of what third wave feminism is about, which is basically sort of a Victorian view of gender relations. Just don't ask us to do all that helping and supporting and protecting and expect us to say that the ones being helped, being supported, and being protected are equal to the ones doing the protecting and supporting and helping. It's absurd and unfair.

Men are perfectly happy to do everything possible to make women's lives safe and comfortable. All we ask is that you acknowledge the fact that we do it and admit what it means about your status and ours.