Composure and Qawwama

There's something you may have noticed if you've ever witnessed or been in a violent confrontation between two men in public, and that is that the man with the loudest mouth and the most threatening demeanor is usually the first one to get knocked out. He gets taken down by a sucker punch right in the middle of saying what he's gonna do to the other guy. I think there's a lot of insights that you can extract from this phenomenon, but I think it can best be summarized by the simple lesson that the man who maintains his composure always has the upper hand. If free will is the element in our nature that distinguishes us from animals, then perhaps the highest expression of this quality is in the ability of a man to maintain his calm and composure in the face of any type of conflict or challenge or otherwise upset ting scenario. This encompasses all sorts of situations, not just physical confrontations.

It includes any scenario that causes tension, disagreements, arguments, even things like public speaking or receiving upsetting or angering news. Calmness and composure are essential characteristics of masculinity and kawama. Any strong emotion is almost like an intoxicant. It can hijack your free will by impairing your judgment and causing you to take actions without thinking. The stronger and more commanding the emotion is, the more you have to suppress it.

There is nothing uglier than a hysterical man. And it doesn't matter if it's enraged hysteria or euphoric hysteria or if he has been stunned into hysterical embarrassment. We've all seen this happen, probably experienced it, and wish that we could expunge it from our memories. For men, those moments when we have allowed ourselves to be overcome by emotion, those moments haunt us. We always regret them and wish that they never happened.

Not least of all because, generally speaking, they set off a sequence of repercussions that we deeply regret. Women's emotions are fleeting. Mere ripples compared to men's. When women are overcome by emotion, there's only damaging consequences when men react to them. But when men are overcome by emotion because of what and who we are, the consequences and the damage can be devastating and beyond recovery.

Men should not excite easily. So know that emotional volatility and any tendency to speak or act under the sway of strong emotions is a serious weakness. Having a hot temper does not make you manly. It makes you resemble a woman or a child. Don't say a word or make a move without thought and deliberation.

Anything and everything you say and do will be accounted for. So make sure that your words and actions are your own and not the result of a suspended thought process.